Platform 51

meet the women we work with

Nelisiwe

“I was in a very abusive relationship, physically and emotionally, and it came to the point where I wanted to take my life."

“If you are an African woman in a relationship, you have to stick with it, because if you don’t it will be a shame to you, to your parents and to the community. You have to make sure that whatever goes on you keep it to yourself”.

She stayed indoors for almost three years because she was scared that people would judge her.

Neli and her family sought asylum in the UK. They had to move to a town where she didn’t know anyone. Neli’s son was just two months old. At the same time, Neli’s sister, who was looking after Neli’s business in South Africa, died, and there were serious financial problems.  Neli couldn’t sleep.

 “I had no one, no support, no one to talk to”.

Neli went to the doctor and asked for sleeping tables. The doctor gave her antidepressants to help her feel OK and said that he could offer Neli some therapy.

“I took the antidepressants for only 2 days, because they are very powerful. It was strange the way they made me feel.  I had been spending most of my time in bed and now I got up and did things. But I could tell that wasn’t me. I know who I am. You feel like you are someone else. So I decided to stop taking the tablets and go for counseling”

Neli went back to the doctor and explained how she was feeling. She eventually went for counselling at the surgery.

“The person who was taking the therapy seemed to lack knowledge and understanding.. She didn’t ask about my past or how long it’s been going on. She couldn’t relate to me or my problems. She couldn’t understand what I was going through.”

Only when Neli began attending the Platform 51 women’s centre in Bilston as a volunteer did she find the support she needed to be able to make a difference in her life.

 “When I first went to Platform 51, I was so happy. I get on with the staff here. I was able to open up, tell them about me, the things that I want to do, it just clicked."

“I started to give back to my community with no expectations of reward or return. Every evening I would look back at the day and give myself a report card. What became apparent was that this discipline was not only good for my soul, it was also transforming everybody around me."

“Since coming to Platform 51, oh my God, my life has changed so much. If you have any type of problems you can go there to get help and express yourself freely. No one will judge you and all they want to do is to support you in whatever you want to do.

“Tablets and medication might work on some people but I don’t think they will work on their own. We all need a place like Platform 51… where you get together with other women who have been through some similar situations. Then you get to share and learn different ways of dealing with different things.

“I think it would have been much better for me if my GP had given me Platform 51 and not tablets. With the antidepressants you’re just attacking the person’s reality, the problem will be still there.

“I would urge any relevant Government body, GPs, therapists or anyone to put money into places like Platform 51. I understand there are funding cuts, but to make a bigger, better society we need to give  the appropriate support to girls and women. It is the support that is guaranteed to make a difference in each individual and in our society, not in a short term but in a long term.”

Please help us to help other women like Neli.