Platform 51

meet the women we work with

Emma

Emma’s boyfriend was sent to prison. But she stood by him. She took their little girl in to visit him because she didn’t want her growing up without her dad.

One day he asked her to take in some drugs in for him. She said: “No, no way. But he kept asking me. He said ‘if you don’t bring them someone’s going to beat me up’. So I got hold of the drugs. But on the way in they caught me. They knew I was coming. He must’ve told someone and they grassed on me. I was so scared! I felt so embarrassed; so ashamed. I still feel ashamed. It’s funny, because I never felt I could get away with it. But I’m easily led, I’m too soft and I gave in.

“At first I lied. I was so scared! I’d got my daughter with me and I was trying to protect her. It was only when Mum came over to take her away, that I could say anything, I didn’t want her involved. I thought they’ve got me red handed, I must just be honest. They strip-searched me. They searched my flat and my mum’s flat, too. I was petrified. All I could think was ‘what have you done? what have you done?’ . I was so afraid that my daughter would be taken away from me.

“Everyone said I’d go down for a least a year. I went to court knowing that later I’d be heading off to jail. I said goodbye to my daughter and mum and dad. We were all in tears. I pleaded guilty. Amazingly I got a suspended sentence. I was so relieved, I could hardly breathe! Even prosecution had nothing to say against me because I’d shown that much remorse.

“The probation officer suggested I join the [Platform 51 Chrysalis] women’s group, a short course for offenders. I thought it’d be awful and I’d have to sit in a group and explain what I’d done. But it was nothing like that. It was brilliant! With the other women in the group, we took our time help each other; I think it was knowing I wasn’t the only one to make a mistake and we were all here making amends.

“The women’s group helped me see things more clearly. Now I’ve learned how to say no, explain why and stick to it. I learned really useful skills like managing money and how to go shopping without being tempted. Now, I always think about things before I do them.

“I didn’t used to be very good at speaking out. I wanted to say things but I didn’t know how. The women’s group has given me the confidence to say what I mean. Every word of that session we did on building confidence sunk in. I’ve come out of my shell, this is the real Emma.

“People should support Platform 51 because it makes a such a big difference. I learned to be in control of my life. There are so many women, just like me, who need that bit of help. “I loved the women’s group so much, I want to do it all over again. I want to volunteer at the next women’s group and use what I learned to help other women.”

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