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Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Categories:
Health and wellbeing: young mums
Generations of love and learning
by Karen
they decided that the best thing for me was to give my son up into foster care
I had my son 26 years ago when I was just 14. My mother and father were both working class and extremely moralistic so they decided that the best thing for me was to give my son Ryan up into foster care.
Over the years he was shifted from pillar to post but I always found a way to see him. My love for him was and still is so strong. When I was 17 my father died and so me and my mother went to live with her close family 30 miles away from our previous address. I lost contact with my son who at the time was 3. When I was 20 I got married and the following year had my daughter Carmen followed by my youngest daughter Chantelle when I was 23.
In time I managed to rekindle connections with my son who by the time was 8. It was then I started the long and gruelling process of trying to win him back from Social Services which took nearly 2 years. I really support young mums and organisations like this. Instead of critising me because I was young, maybe if people had supported me and shown me some direction then maybe I could have looked after my son from birth not from when he was 10. There are still a lot of gaps between us about his childhood but he does try to understand the situation I was put in. When Ryan came to me when he was 17 and told me he was going to become a father I was shocked but I gave him every bit of my support - the support I never had. Now it is 9 years on and I am a proud grandmother to 2 beautiful girls and I made sure one thing for certain - I was there from the beginning! I couldn’t be more proud of my son and more happy how things turned out when at one point there seemed no hope at all.
Keep up all the good work YWCA and remember everybody to keep your chin up and aim for the sky! Karen x
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- I wish people would learn something from your story Karen as I was the child of a young mum that was pressured into giving her babies up. It completely messed my mum up and it messed myself and my sister up - so in one fell swoop three lives have been severely affected all because a young mum wasnt given any support or any self beliefe that although young she could be a fantastic mum. A judge decided that my mum wasnt good enough to be a mum but where we ended up was really, really abusive so it just goes to show that often the children do pay the price for their mums not being supported.
Every woman has the capacity to be a wonderful mum and its time every mum was supported. I am so glad you fought for your son Karen and your story is very moving. x
Rosie - CORNWALL 10 Mar 2011 - 17:34
